A Parents’ Guide to Surviving Sibling Conflict
How Our Family Moved from War to Peace
My boys adore each other. 3-year-old Thomas will put his arms around his big brother and say, “You’re my best friend Dake (Jake)”. Jake will return the affection with a tender hug. My heart swells when I watch them play together, happy in their world for two.
But, next minute…there’s shouting — no, roaring. Jake has evicted Thomas from his bedroom and Thomas is banging on the door, crying that he wants to be let back in.
Or…Thomas has decided he wants the toy car that Jake has, even though his fists are already full with 3 others. The snatching & squealing begins.
Or…Jake slowly winds Thomas up, taking advantage of his 3 years senior. He argues, manipulates and competes with Thomas, who can’t keep up and ends up hitting Jake in frustration. Then, of course, Jake comes running to report to me, very indignantly, that his brother hit him.
Or…(and this one takes the cake)…we’re in the car and Thomas starts wailing, “I don’t want Jake to look at me!”
Jake knows how to use his power over Thomas and Thomas can be plain difficult sometimes.
Most of this squabbling occurs when I’m unable to resolve things — usually when I’m driving or I’ve been out of earshot…
